Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Challenge #16 *Sponsored* + Winner!

Your Love Hurts Me

It's funny how people hurt the ones they love the most.
Sometimes is it so toxic you have to cut them off, sometimes you
can handle it but it's a daily struggle, sometimes you just avoid it
altogether. This challenge is all about those who love to hurt you
or just blindly hurt you while saying "I love you".
No it might not be intentional, but it still hurts.
Maybe it's the sister who constantly says how horrible your
children are, or the friend who always criticizes your weight.
Or the parent who only sees their child who makes mistakes
and does not acknowledge your accomplishments.
It's ok to see the pain, and it's ok to still love them.
It's therapeutic to be aware!

Now go get Dirty!

as this month's SPONSOR!

Scrappy Jo's has offered up a 20.00 Gift Certificate!!
on challenge #16!~
We work hard to make sure you
have prizes to play for so please
do visit Scrappy Jo's!
They also have a blog!

*used Keller's Creations (sponsor) materials for this mini-tag-album*
Journaling reads:
I've never understood your reasons for maintaining your DISTANCE from me, not showing any interest in my life, or much support over the years. I know you were a victim of neglect from your own parents, so you should know how BAD it feels to be PUSHED away from someone you love. I still hope there will come a day when we could grow closer and you'll actually WANT to get to know me or be a part of my life. Your distance has really HURT me over the years, and has messed up my self-esteem. I WISH we could have a normal father-daughter relationship. It won't work if you keep your distance.

**I used Keller's Creations(Sponsor) on this layout. The Big Chipboard Circle, background Pattern Paper,Chipboard Heart and Heart shaped red paper and the cream circle behind the heart are all from the Sponsor!!Thank You so much!!
Journaling Says:
How could you be so cruel and call him such mean
names...your his aunt and your suppose to love
and support him unconditionally!! I told you it was a
phase he was going through, but seriously he was only
a toddler and just being a boy!! I have forgiven you, but I
will never forget how hurtful you were!! 12/03


**LO created with wonderful product from our July sponsor Keller's Creations. Thank you so much :)
Having a child at 18 really puts into perspective who your true friends are in life. There were a few people who I had thought were forever friends, but as soon as I had a child and was nolonger able to be the 'Amy' I once was, they distanced themselves from me. What hurt the most is that they still claim to be one of my best friends. All the while talking crap behind my back. I overlooked it over and over. Guess What? NO MORE 'one more chances' with me. YES!!! I had a child at a very young age. Do I regret it? Hell NO! It caused me to finally grow up and learn to appreciate life so much more. I'm actually sorry our friendship is over, but having people in my life that don't support me when they said they always would is not something I want. I want my kids to value friendship - TRUE friendship. You hurt me far too many times. NO MORE.


With the exception of Devin, falling in love with you was probably the worst thing I have ever done. And I loved you - probably still do! I loved you SOOOO much! You were the world to me. Yes, we made mistakes - both of us, but that didn’t change my love for you. You always were a drinker. When your mother passed away, you drank and drank and drank. Every day. I don’t even think you saw it. We had that arguement....you were 100% sure you didn’t drink every day. You got out of work and went to the bar to drink until it was time to pick me up. You could have spent that time with your son. You could have picked him up early and had one-on-one time with him...but you didn’t. You had to go to the bar instead. Then you would pick me up and drop Devin and I at home and then go back to the bar and pretty much stay there Thanksgiving was the last straw. You left right after the meal and were still at the bar at midnight. Someobdy else had taken us home You were so ticked off because you knew you couldn’t drive yourself and didn’t know why I had gone home without you. I’ll tell you why - because our son was two and needed to be in bed!!!! Somebody ELSE cared more about his well being than you did. The alcohol was more important than me or your son. Two days later I did something I promised I would never do to anybody...I gave you an ultimatum. It was either me and your son or the alcohol. You never responded. You then left me the note to call you that day or you’d pack up your stuff and go. I had to FIGHT not to pick up that phone and call you. It’s one of the hardest things I had ever done. I loved you, but you loved the alochol more. I didn’t want your son growing up thinking that this is what life should be. So I didn’t call. You came home, packed your stuff, and left. Even though I knew it was what was best for me and your son, I cried. And I cried a lot. I sought help from Devin’s EIP counselor. They helped me through. I am probably a stronger person today because you’re an alcoholic and don’t see it as a problem. It’s okay...and I’m okay too. And better yet, so is MY son.


Journaling: You rarely told me you loved me and now I know why.
Just because I was born from your womb does not mean that an instant loving bond could be created.
I remember those long lonely night of pain you left on my body and in my mind.
I remember the Christmas you bought everyone in our lives gifts, but on Christmas morn there was nothing for me. You told me I was a horrible daughter and I deserved NOTHING.
I watched my family smile and open gifts as I sat alone at 12 thinking I must be the worst person ever born to deserve this day.
I wonder why I struggle with self esteem at 35?
Every day I work so hard to erase the pain and destruction you caused. It is working but the ashes remain.
Maybe one day I won't remember the words "I wish I had aborted you" or "You are a filthy little whore".
I hope one day I am able to forget just how much your "LOVE" hurts me.

I cannot believe we only had 2 entries in the last challenge!
Hopefully we have more this time *wink*

On to the winner of the Bo Bunny goodies from Scrappy Jos

Blogger Dawn said...

Here is my layout for this challenge this time. It isn't as dirty as I would have liked it to be.

Please email Carla your information and we will get this package to you right away!

13 Dirty Comments:

ladybrayton71 said...

wow! such powerful, beautiful creations. thank you, ladies, for sharing your souls. you have inspired me to do the same.

Nicole Laird said...

Dawn, I like your take on the last challenge! Congrats!!

I'm loving the new challenge and the inspiration. Hopefully I get to play this time!!

MoMo sprnany said...

I have been away too long! I cannot wait to jump into this challenge...it's a daunting task after the amazingly wonderful lo's by the d.t. but I will give it my best!

~ melody ~ said...

congratulations dawn on the last challenge...you go girl!

and again..WOWZA..the dt's creations are SO powerful ~ creative, inspiring and so theraputic!

great topic and challenge..i hope to jump in on this on

Dawn said...

Thanks everyone for the kind words and I am thrilled to be the winner from last time.
Ladies it was amazing and so hard to read your journaling this time. Oh what an amazing job you all did. Hope to play along .
Thanks for the inspiration

Christine said...

love the challenge!
I was inspired to do a layout about my in-laws and the hubby and their love. It just doesn't include me and that hurts.


Pinky said...

Love it Christine, great LO and I hear ya!

Jodi said...

absolutely incredible layouts!!!! such powerful journaling...

Stephanie said...

THIS one I am ready for. I struggle with this EVERY Day! Thanks.

melody said...

whohoo! i did my first DS lo ~ ok..the last one on my blog wasn't in a challenge...but..heh..it felt good to 'get it out'!
thanks so much ladies for your inspiration ~ ya can check you my lo


MoMo sprnany said...

Here's my entry for this challenge! I have to say the DT was amazing as always with their take on this challenge!


Dawn said...

Here is my layout this challenge
check it out here.
Great job ladies with this challenge.

Ms. Mom AKA April said...

It's in the nick of time, but here is my LO for the challenge. It's on my blog at http://www.msmomcraft.blogspot.com